A Chance for Happiness
by Tai-sensei
Summary: Sequel to Frozen cold.Kakashi is in the hospital and Iruka has time to think about his feelings and forced to have a conversation he isn't sure he's ready for. KakashiXIruka rated for adult themes and language
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Warnings: Yaoi

A/N: For ichkak Sorry this took so long, hope you like it. This is a sequel to Frozen Cold. I don't promise that things will be all better, but at least now there may be a chance.

". . ." spoken

'. . .' thought

Iruka sighed and shifted in his chair. He didn't bother getting up. He'd spent the last hour pacing the small hospital room and now he was tried as well as restlessly bored. He sighed again and stared forcefully out the window. The sun was just starting to rise, painting the sky a blushing pink. He tried to watch the breath taking scene, but he eyes refused and kept trying to stare at the figure in the nearby bed. Finally he gave in and looked.

Kakashi was as white as the sheets he laid on. He looked thinner and more frail then he had the last time Iruka had seen him. 'Stupid idiot,' the chunin thought. 'You'd think he'd have something better to do then get alcohol poisoning.' Before he could stop himself, Iruka brushed a piece of hair away from Kakashi's face. He frowned at both his traitorous hand and the deep black circles around Kakashi's eyes. 'Stupid fool! Should have been sleeping instead of drinking.'

Iruka climbed tiredly to his feet and started to pace once more. Seven steps to the door, turn, seven steps to the opposite wall, turn, seven steps to the door, turn. Over and over he counted his steps. The steady tap of his feet on the tile helped to calm him. He stopped short when he started to yawn. "I should be sleeping," he mumbled grumpily, but he knew there was no way he could go home now. Tsunade had come herself to his home at 3:21 in the morning to tell him what Kakashi had done. Iruka had taken only a second to pull on a shirt before following her to the hospital; thanking Kami Misai had called the Hokage when Kakashi had finally passed out.

"Fucking arrogant idiot," he growled. His voice cracked as his chest grew tight. His eyes started to burn, but he blinked rapidly determined not to cry. Why should he care that some cold hearted jounin had tried to drink himself to death? He couldn't help but gasp as his breath caught and the tears started to fall. He couldn't stop it so he simply covered his face, hoping to hide until he could get a grip on himself once more. 'Damn you Kakashi, how could you do this to yourself? If you had . . . If you had . . .' Iruka couldn't finish the thought. It was too painful. He took a few calming breaths and wiped his face quickly before he sat down once more, and rested his hands on the jounin's bed.

For a month he had fought himself, determined to harden his heart, to make himself not care, to make himself hate the jounin that had broken him down for so long, but here he was sitting at his bed side waiting for him to wake up, praying that he would be okay. After all that had happened, all that had been said or that had needed to be said but had been ignored, here he was no closer to hating the silvered haired idiot then he had been the first day. He loved Kakashi with all his heart and he sometimes couldn't understand why. It seemed like every time Iruka would find a reason Kakashi would do something to destroy it, breaking Iruka's heart just a bit more in the process, until Iruka had no choice but to try and turn his back. He hadn't wanted to, he still didn't, but he couldn't be everything to Kakashi and gain nothing in return. Not without losing himself.

Iruka yawned again and laid his head down on the side of the bed. 'Just for a second,' he thought. He couldn't stay much longer, he had to leave before Kakashi woke up.

a/n: sorry it's short. Next chapters are done. I'll have them up in the morning. :) Best wishes and Good waves.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

Warnings: adult themes and strong language

". . . " spoken

'. . .' thought

Iruka woke slowly, humming in contentment as a slim hand ran through his hair, massaging his scalp. Reality hit him hard as he remembered where he was and sat up quickly. The hand caught in his hair and pulled slightly, but Iruka ignored it as he stumbled to his feet. He tried not to groan as he straightened his aching back and the circulation started to return to his left arm. He hastily wiped a hand across his face as he checked for drool and tried to wake himself up. He flinched when he heard a raspy voice whisper his name.

Kakashi was awake and watching him. A paper mask covered his face and he had a patch over one eye, but the small part of his face that Iruka could see was a sickly gray color. Tsunade had injected him with a chemical to neutralize the alcohol in his system, but he would be exhausted and weak for the next few days.

"Iruka. . . what are you. . .I didn't think . . . I'm glad you're here," Kakashi stammered. His gray eye was sincere but glazed.

"Yeah, well . . . I'm glad you're okay," Iruka said gruffly, arms crossed. They lapsed into silence and Iruka couldn't help but feel awkward.

"Did Misai call you?" Kakashi asked hoarsely, wincing slightly.

"No. Tsunade came and got me an hour or so after you came in last night," Iruka replied quietly as he quickly filled a glass with water and handed it to the copy nin.

"Oh. . . I'm sorry she bothered you. You should have gone home last night. Sleeping hunched over like that is bad for your back," Kakashi whispered, his voice was still rough, but the water had helped some.

"I was worried," Iruka admitted quietly, staring at the floor. It had been hard to say, but it was the truth. "You should be more careful Kakashi. If Tsunade hadn't gotten there when she did you could have died." Iruka continued. Both men finally fell silent looking at everything but each other.

"I'm sorry for what I did. I'm sorry for everything," Kakashi said suddenly.

Iruka couldn't help but look at him. "Please Kakashi . . . please don't do this." Iruka pleaded gently a lump quickly forming in his throat. He couldn't take it, not again. He couldn't take hearing more lies.

"I have to say it Iruka. I miss you . . . I love you . . . and I'm so sorry," Kakashi rasped insistently, his pale hands gripping the blankets, his eyes pleading for Iruka to believe him.

"Stop it Kakashi," Iruka snapped his voice sharp and piercing as he stepped away from the bed, intent on defending himself from the familiar pain. "Coming to me for sex then leaving without a word, sleeping with other people after I beg you not to, hurting me more and more everyday, that's not love Kakashi." He turned quickly and forced himself to remain steady as he reached the door.

"Iruka please . . . wait . . ."

Iruka shook his head, not trusting himself to speak as he opened the door and started to step into the hallway. He stopped suddenly when he heard a soft whimper. For a second he couldn't move, all he could do was stand there, breathless, and listen to the soft broken sounds from the man behind him. He turned slowly and couldn't believe his eyes. Kakashi was crying. No, he was sobbing.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

Warnings : For adult language and themes

His eye patch and mask were gone and Iruka could see the tears spilling from his eyes. He was curled up tightly, his blanket clad knees pressed to his chest. He was shaking slightly. Iruka closed the door quickly. He couldn't leave Kakashi alone like this and he wouldn't let anyone else see him so vulnerable.

"Kakashi," he whispered as he walked back over to the bed.

The older nin didn't look at him, he just cried harder. Iruka winced, his heart clenching. He couldn't stop himself as he climbed into the bed and pulled the sobbing man to him, holding him as tightly as he could.

"Please Ruka. Please don't leave me. I'm sorry . . . I'm so fucking sorry. I was a coward and a fool. I was so afraid of . . . of what would happen. I was an asshole . . . and I know I . . . I don't deserve your forgiveness, but please . . ." Kakashi sobbed, his voice growing louder as he cried even harder. He pressed his face against Iruka's neck before going on. " I love you so fucking much. Iruka . . . please believe me. I need you Iruka . . . only you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and never leave your side again. Please Iruka . . . give me one more chance. I swear . . . I swear . . . on Obito and . . . and Rin and my sensei that . . . that I'll never hurt you again! Please Ruka!" the Copy nin wailed.

Iruka didn't know what to say. In the two year they had been together he had never seen Kakashi so open, so unguarded. There was no way he was faking. And he had sworn an oath on his former teammates and sensei, Iruka more than understood the significance. Kakashi was serious, he wasn't lying.

Iruka felt a weight lift from his heart. Kakashi loved him. Iruka only wished he had been able to say so without being forced to fall so low. He grasped the older ninja's chin and made his look into his eyes.

"Please don't cry anymore Kashi. I believe you and I forgive you," he whispered before kissing his jounin's tear stained lips.

Kakashi moaned softly and kissed him back, but Iruka pulled away all too soon, mindful of Kakashi's exhaustion. Iruka looked seriously into the jounin's bloodshot eyes. "This doesn't make everything okay Kashi. We still have a lot to talk about. Things can't be like they were before."

"I know Ruka, I know," Kakashi babbled softly, his breath catching as he tried to calm down.

"Shh. . . no more tears. We can deal with this later. . . just rest for now," Iruka whispered as he snuggled the shaking man to his chest.

Tsunade sighed softly as she watched the two men sleeping soundly in the small bed. Kakashi was curled up to Iruka's chest and the young chunin was holding him tightly. Kakashi was still pale. Rest and food would help. Iruka, though he wasn't sick, didn't look much better. His eyes were puffy from crying and the dark rings around them said he'd been losing sleep. She didn't know who she was more worried about. Kakashi had almost drank himself to death only a few hours before, but Iruka had spent the last few weeks so depressed and despondent she was surprised he hadn't already done the same thing.

"What am I going to do with you two?" she whispered softly before she turned away and closed the door behind her.

A/N That's it for this story guys. Sorry it was kind of short, but at least it wasn't a one shot :) Don't worry thought this isn't the end I have a third story in the works for this series. I hope to have it out no later then August 15th. I'll do my very best not to disappoint. Thanks for reading and as always best wishes and good waves. ~ Tai-sensei


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